This morning I turned off my alarm and fell back asleep for about 20 minutes. I snapped awake after a crazy dream and was lucky to make it to a 9am meeting.
First, I’d like to thank my subconscious for waking me up without my alarm.
Second, I’d like to tell my subconscious that this was a bizarre way to wake me up.
In my dream, Jason Calacanis was standing next to me in his usual pink collared dress shirt while I sat in front of a giant media PC and edited audio files. We were working on the latest audio track for one of our customers. Jason and I were back in a startup again and this time our business was making jingles for radio commercials. Our customer was a skin cancer clinic.
Jason: Think of some popular Spin Doctors songs. We can use one of those.
Me: So like Spin Doctors instead of Skin Doctors?
Jason hated when I made obvious puns, so why was he making one? [Editor’s note: this was your mind telling the story here, Brian.] Jason had preferred the name “Engadget” over my “Gear Eye” as Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was popular then, but he said that one day it would be an obscure reference. He was right.
Jason: Right. We could use a Spin Doctors song. I know the lead singer! He and I…
Me: …played chess on a cruise around New York City for an hour. Like twenty years ago. I know. I don’t like it. The best “skin” angle I can think of is “Two Pinches” instead of “Two Princes.” That sucks.
Jason: What if we do it like they’re the A-Team? A bunch of mercenary doctors in scrubs with skin cancer blasting weapons.
Me: Maybe. “I love it when a cure comes together!” Hey. What about Ghostbusters? There’s a team with weapons. And we could use the Ghostbusters theme! “Who you gonna call? Growthbusters!“
Jason: I love it.
Me: “I ain’t afraid of no growths!” Wow. I love it too.
Jason: The song is old. We can get rights to use it cheap. We just have to find Billy Ocean.
Me: Billy Ocean?
Jason: He did Ghostbusters.
Me: No he didn’t.
Jason: Yes he did. He did the Ghostbusters theme and the one about Get Into My Car and Private Booty Queen.
Me: Private Booty Queen?
Jason: Yeah (singing) “Private Booty Queen, now we’re sharing the same dream…”
Me: That’s Caribbean Queen!
Jason: Sounds like Private Booty Queen to me.
[Editor’s note: Seriously, listen to the song again. This is an easy mistake to make.]
Me: I don’t even have to Google it. It’s Ray Parker, Jr. He did Ghostbusters.
And then suddenly I was awake. [Editor’s note: You wake up suddenly?]
UPDATE: I have been informed that I have blogged about my Jason dreams before. Very oddly, I used the exact same Billy Ocean song as inspiration for the title of that post too: Get out of my dreams, get into my church. It was nearly five years ago and somehow the awesome domain name Kabbalahster.com is still available.
Brian Alvey 