We were driving along in our car and Jack said, “I wish there was a jump button in our car for if someone was going to hit us.” So do I, little man!
One of Jack’s two betta fish is dying. He has swim bladder disease, basically a big air bubble in his body that keeps him floating at the top of the little tank no matter how hard he tries to swim down. I showed Jack that the fish is in pain and will be dying soon and he asked, “Can we fry him and eat him?” Nice. The last one “hitched a ride on the porcelain express” to quote Gil from Finding Nemo. I explained that he’s too small for us to eat, only another fish would eat a fish that small. When Niki got home, Jack told her, “Rocky is going to die. Can we feed him to a dolphin?” Hah. We were just doing that at SeaWorld last weekend.
My boys and I picked up some takeout last week and as we were leaving the restaurant two men who were outside said good night to us. Jack yelled back, “Smoking is not good!”
Jack loves inchworms. He found one right before we were going for a car ride and wanted to keep it inside the house. I told him that he cannot leave an inchworm inside the house to run around while we go to lunch. Jack said, “He will not run, Daddy. He can only inch.”
Niki got Jack an ant farm a few months ago. The ants come in a little tube, separate from the farm. You pour the ants into the top of the farm and remove the ones that died in transit with tweezers. I asked Jack to hand me the tweezers once and he said, “Those aren’t tweezers. Those are called Ant take outers.”
Update: I forgot another recent one. We were at Barnes & Noble and I pointed to a baseball book and asked who was on the cover. He correctly answered “Derek Jeter.” I was thrilled and asked if he was sounding out the name on the cover or if he just recognized the face. Jack said that he didn’t really know who it was, he just thinks every baseball player is Derek Jeter. Then he pointed to a Babe Ruth book and said, “I think that man is Derek Jeter, too” and smiled at me. He cracks me up.
Brian Alvey 