Spider-Man on Broadway

I read a story about Bono and The Edge writing the music for a Spider-Man musical about a month ago and I have had trouble getting it out of my mind.

When I saw Spider-Man 3 I thought to myself, “Wow, I hope Spidey has better luck on Broadway than Mary Jane had.”

Just like with Cork’d, I am pretty sure that they should at least hire me as an advisor for this project. My big contribution to the show will be an insistence that all of the songs are taken directly from ones that U2 has already recorded. Why write something new that might not be a hit with audiences when people already know and love your old stuff?

Remember, you heard these here first:

Act One

  • Stuck in a Web You Can’t Get Out Of
  • Mysterio’s Ways
  • Sandman Bloody Sandman
  • The Unforgettable Vulture
  • With or Without Electro
  • In Goblin’s Country
  • Who’s Gonna Catch Your Gwen Stacy
  • How to Dismantle a Pumpkin Bomb
  • Octopus Baby
  • Under a Blood Red Scorpion

Act Two

  • Beautiful May
  • Two Goblins Beat as One
  • When Lizard Comes to Town (with B.B. Kingpin)
  • Kraven of Harlem
  • Jameson’s Gonna Pay For Your Crashed Car Photos
  • Where the Streets Have Silvermane
  • Rhino and Hum
  • Sandman Bloody Sandman (Reprise)
  • Brock (In the Name of Venom)

Mr. Bono? Mr. Edge? Call me!